So LOST is Finito.  Done-zo.  OVER.  And thank goodness, because by the middle of the season, it had solidly placed itself amongst my embarrassing guilty pleasures. LOST became less enjoyable for me by the weeks. Granted — I may have overdosed on the show by watching seasons 1-5 in a little under a month and a half (Drone claims he watched the entire series in two weeks). That’s actually a disgusting amount of television, and unlike my pleasant Californication binge back in November or my Mad Man spree in December, my LOST marathons left me annoyed, confused, and pondering too many big questions. Basically, if LOST was a drug, it would certainly be crack. Each episode is only barely satisfying, but there’s just enough new info and plots twists to leave me fiending for the next episode.

And like any drugs, the come down’s a bitch. I really don’t think there was anyway to please everyone with a show like this, which is why last nights finale was probably the best they could do to please the most people: they haphazardly wrapped up what they could and sent us off with an pretty interpretable ending. I’m just happy they didn’t cut to black or claim it was all a dream, like the Jimmy Kimmel Show last night parodied.

My only real seriously probing question: the dog shows up at the very end (awww cute), but doesn’t that make everyone go WHERE THE FUCK IS WALT AND MICHAEL?!? I have no idea why they included that, it only served to remind me of all the loose ends that weren’t really addressed. And as my roommate pointed out, there were way more people on that island than in that church, and SURE the show wasn’t really about them, but come on: two innocent people were buried alive on that island: Remember them (most pointless storyline in the entire series)?! Don’t they deserve some sort of happy place? And Ilana, as annoying as she was, was running around like Jacobs puppy and where did she end up: blown up by a land mine. And then they have the nerve to bring back Shannon? Who the hell liked her or Boone for that matter? Why’d they get invited to the white light party?

Overall I’m stilly pretty confused about what the fuck just did or did not or maybe possibly could’ve happened but didn’t happen in the sideways parallel alternate reality universe. I wish they would’ve explained those Dharma sharks more. Or about what really happened to Walt in Room 23?

Anyways, what’s my theory since EVERYONE seems to have one. Here goes: I think what happened was that the whole story from the moment the plane crashed in the first episode was the death of one life and the start of a completely different new one (kudos to Jimmy Kimmel for agreeing with me last night). The question of whether one is real or not real or kind of like a purgatory or if their dead or not dead is little irrelevant to simple fact that they all were offered a second shot a new life. With that, they were given basically an entirely different world, with it’s own history that occasionally collided with what we might assume to be the real world. On that island, their world was dictated by new rules, offered its own particular (and peculiar) challenges, and was governed by it’s own unexplained phenomena. There shitty “life” was at least a life in some respect. They could play golf or learn to plant medicinal herb gardens! Occasionally they built some bombs and had lots of gun battles. Have sex, eat, hang out, have a little philosophical chit chat with Locke. See that could happen anywhere — the rampant polar bears and electromagnetic force was kind of like just a toss in. Oh, and there’s time travel in their too, which was weird and poorly explained.

Whether you’re a LOST fan or not, I think it’s pretty easy to admit that this is one damn complex show that’s impressed at least enough of us that people are calling it the most complicated show ever written. You can talk about it for days, and still get nowhere, which is both a joy and source of frustration. So if you LOVED the ending—good for you. I’m giving it a one thumbs up only because the Claire-Charlie flash sideways made me cry like baby.